MFV BF494 'Pansy', an old Motor Fifie Conversion

remember the cunning plan? 1:1 scale model trawler in kit form??

well thats on hold, its snowed (a bit) and got a bit chilly, so my beloved planks of elm are a bit well, deep frozen:

anyone know what the effect of a bit of snow and ice are on rock elm??, maybe I just invented the worlds biggest snow board

as well as a bit of snow, its also been a bit chilly, causing the odd icicle or 2 form:

on the plus side, I won't run out of ice for my vodka for weeks

so while the rest of the country has been in the full panic mode that only home counties english media types are capable of when there's 2cm of snow on the ground, I've been snowed in at home since boxing day, with snow that is waist deep everywhere and drifts in excess of 15' and temperatures down to minus 17

I'm getting wood whittling withdrawal symptoms. even though I've got bits of wood to whittle here at HQ, some of it even ice free and toasty on account of me having hidden it under the bed. but alas I've nothing to whittle it with - all the tools are on the boat, so I've taken to inventing stuff instead. So far I've invented loads of things in my head.... gravity powered 3D glasses so when you are driving you can see the road ahead, trees and things like that in 3D, that sort of thing

but with the thing I am most proud of is actually real as well, Bovril with vodka, it's great and has become my 7th most favourite drink of all time

I really need to get out

*Wheeeeeeeee* Oops me pipe's frozen.

Skipper, you've lost it mate - for the gravity powered bins you'd need a gravity powered head. If it was gravy powered then I'm your Chuck Jaeger(?).

Add dried noodles to the Vodkril and away you go scrapper

It may have been noticed that No 2 has mentioned fire a few times when he's poked his head in here. Keeps mentioning something about 'the little people' telling him to burn things as well.

Had a toddle down there to day to discover him in full pyromanical flow. Safety goggles, kneed pads, overalls, safety gloves... I got 'im sussed out now though - if you dress vaguely like a workman people might think you are actually doing something! Although I had to decline his request for a full face safety visor - he was worried his visog might suffer a temporary aberration by 'stuff' landing on it

but doing summats he was, a new technique by all accounts for removing the remaining 'tarmac' from the deck - set fire to the boat. wait till its burning nicely, then scrape the pile of fire somewhere else..... can you get piles of fire?? (thats not a medical question btw)

the idea being the little bonfire has softened the asphalt enough to render it vulnerable to scraping type things

Known for his health and safety concerns, No 2 demonstrates his love of all things firey

the eagle eyed among you may spot something that is generally accepted to be in the 'bad thing' category when talking of wooden boats... yes we're growing our own 'shrooms on the coach roof. Well someone had to, and I bet no-one else has thought of it either

I don't know if you're aware of Advocado's principle - something about why 900 ton boats can float and a 2g ball bearing will sink like a stone (Concrete hulled boats - whassthaallabout?) Hang on, an advocado's a fruit or a yellow drink or a football manager - I digress. The plan for tomorrow is to take a 2 pronged approach, remove the last of the soil, gravel and ectoplasm from the engine room and "Pack the Stern Gland", I've had problems with leaking glands in the past and know what effect they can have. So how to do it? Prong 1 involves taking a high pressure jet washer down into the engine room, turning a tap on and filling the boat with water from the inside. Prong 2 involves pulling things out of the stern tube which will allow a brief but vigorous filling of the boat with water from the outside. Should be interesting!

I've always been wary of advocados they make your wee smell - or maybe that's asparagus!

Who's this Archimedes when he's at home?

**/ Skipper's Addendum /**

Avocados are a fruit pretending to be a vegetable and are therefore not to be trusted. Also Weird Al Yankovic sang a song about them. Draw your own conclusions. Archimedes however was clever.

*Running from the Press Gang*

Aye, kings shilling and all that - how could I have seen that little coin in the bottom of my Tankard (pure schpelter) while it was full of Porter? Archimedes was clever he invented the word "Pump" and "Screw" which means that we can all say the words "Fart" and "Shag" in front of our Nannas and Grandads without gettin our legs slapped. Whaddaman!

Ford Fiesta - Marine Version

Orrible colour!

OK - so now I know, there are brushes inside of starter motors and soneloids make sparks. It's a funny old world. I have finally committed totally to our lovely Pansy, no going back, went and bought what's known in working circles as a "Boiler Suit". I already had some wellies as my mam makes me put them on if there's any danger of me going round jumping in puddles. Also got some "Knee Pads" just in case we go through another Rattray head moment, they will allow me to pray properly without running the risk of getting a run in my BS (Boiler Suit). It's now covered in John Innes no.5 after removing 14 firkins of SOIL from the engine room. I know she's called Pansy but having an 'erbaceous border in the bilges smacks of silliness. We managed to wake Bob the milkman (he is a milkman, well he sells the stuff, he's not actually made of milk), who lives on the Yot next to us, at 5:00pm last Saturday with the sound of an air-hammer going off in the bilges of an old wooden boat. He must have thought - yup they've had enough and got up to watch the boat sink and observe us sprinting along the pontoon of life, laughing like Banshees (Eh!) and back to normality.