MFV BF494 'Pansy', an old Motor Fifie Conversion

musings on 'elf n safety

bugger all to do with anything boaty (well almost), but I've come to the conclusion that by and large we have turned into a rather limp wristed nation of soggy apologists. It all started by watching the panic set in as the end of the world arrived in London in the form of a bit of snow. An entire fleet of modern buses is grounded, for safety fears. Compare these with the routemaster of years gone by, air assisted anti lock disk brakes, traction control, power steering, pneumatic suspension versus a bloke with a strong left foot and arms like popeye. Used to be quite a regular thing, snow in the south east, and the buses just kept going.

all the schools close, 'cos the playgrounds' are a bit slippy. Hang on, that was the best bit, 50 yards long slides across the playground, but oh no, can't have that, one of the little darlings might fall over

which brings me to more boaty themes. The internet is a wonderful place, full of useful and not so useful information and a veritable goldmine of knowledge when you've got a problem to solve, but even this seems to be succumbing to the 'Elf and Safety disease. So you find a forum and ask your question, and someone somewhere will come up with some sort of a solution, but then the avalanche begins. NO NO NO, you mustn't do that, it might not be safe, you must adhere to BS-XYZ standards and wear a thermo-nuclear NBC spacesuit with bullet proof safety goggles, and you have to buy this widget for a gazillion squids (ensuring it has a CE mark/kite mark), cos anything less might break or endanger the coypu breeding industry in norfolk or some such bollocks

Poor old heath robinson would turn in his grave. The good old fashioned British solution would go something like, "take your Flim Flam, get a bunch on nails, some poisonous glue and big hammer and keep hitting it till it works, then paint over it with some even more deadly chemicals, whilst eating a full fat cheese butty on white bread with butter, then have a cup of tea (3 sugars) and a fag whilst the first coat dries" If after hitting with a hammer the problem persists, its probably an electrical fault, so pull all the wires and lash loads of insulation tape over them, then stick them back again"

Sadly, I fear, it has now become totally endemic, we have lost the resourcefulness that made us what we are. We have been nannied into submission and dulled into apathy. Maybe the economic depression (gordon's words not mine!) might bring back a bit of the make do and mend spirit and get everyone off their fat arses and force them to do something a bit practical. Oh yeah, and if you bash your thumb with a hammer, please don't try sue the hammer manufacturer for failing to affix a safety label telling you not to hit your thumb with a hammer, its called an accident, they used to happen all the time, and only a few people died from them (I think)

*Ahem* I left the wobbly half cut bottle full of turps next to the fire Skipper as I thought heat might speed up the cleaning process. Luckily "Joe the Cabin Boy" mentioned the fact that "turps can get a little bit burny" so I moved it a bit.