MFV BF494 'Pansy', an old Motor Fifie Conversion

Fame at last. It's a little know and well kept secret, that the whole idea buying an old scottish fishing boat, doing it up and so forth was born by a TV production company, there plan to to film the whole process in your standard "oh no - not more reality TV shite" format, warts and all. That sort of thing

So the secret cameras have been whirring away quietly and this week I was invited to see an early edit of the first program. Not sure what I think, suffice to say I'm not nearly that fat in real life, in fact I'm positively sylph like.

And I've more hair

And I don't have a 'tash either

It does sort of impart the general working atmosphere though, and I don't think No 2 even noticed the film crew around. So here you go.

the film starts with a bit of background into the 'why' and then moves onto to the doing up bit in all its glory, and really does give a really good flavour of how we seem to work together

enjoy!

*Oi Oi*

Will be sending the above record of achievement to the Historical Ship's Register people as proof of progress. It may have an impact on our claim! Stan dossed down in North Shields for a while dontcha know. I will be scratching my head on Pandora tomorrow wondering a. What can I do? b. How can I do it? c. Where's Olly?

I took the horn home, and got rid of the car under the scrappage scheme.

remember the cunning plan? 1:1 scale model trawler in kit form??

well thats on hold, its snowed (a bit) and got a bit chilly, so my beloved planks of elm are a bit well, deep frozen:

anyone know what the effect of a bit of snow and ice are on rock elm??, maybe I just invented the worlds biggest snow board

as well as a bit of snow, its also been a bit chilly, causing the odd icicle or 2 form:

on the plus side, I won't run out of ice for my vodka for weeks

so while the rest of the country has been in the full panic mode that only home counties english media types are capable of when there's 2cm of snow on the ground, I've been snowed in at home since boxing day, with snow that is waist deep everywhere and drifts in excess of 15' and temperatures down to minus 17

I'm getting wood whittling withdrawal symptoms. even though I've got bits of wood to whittle here at HQ, some of it even ice free and toasty on account of me having hidden it under the bed. but alas I've nothing to whittle it with - all the tools are on the boat, so I've taken to inventing stuff instead. So far I've invented loads of things in my head.... gravity powered 3D glasses so when you are driving you can see the road ahead, trees and things like that in 3D, that sort of thing

but with the thing I am most proud of is actually real as well, Bovril with vodka, it's great and has become my 7th most favourite drink of all time

I really need to get out

*Wheeeeeeeee* Oops me pipe's frozen.

Skipper, you've lost it mate - for the gravity powered bins you'd need a gravity powered head. If it was gravy powered then I'm your Chuck Jaeger(?).

Add dried noodles to the Vodkril and away you go scrapper

We have a boat called Pansy, she's named after a flower as are many other boats. We have taken mild abuse due to the less than manly reputation of the word pansy. An easy remedy to any of the cheeky jibes I have faced is to tell the comedian in question - she was built and named in 1937 and took many brave men to sea and back home safely, never lost a man overboard, I believe, doing one of the toughest and most dangerous jobs going. - It shuts most people up.

Right, that said she has taken on the moniker of The Panzer for some time, a term of affection born as a result of her level of cuddliness and readiness to bend to our will.

I'm pushing it a bit here but until the ice machine is installed and the masts are glued back on she has taken on the mantle of Pandora.

Aye! You know where I'm going with this - open that box and you're in for an interesting time.

Just back from our kid's after just getting there - me Nana's decided to have a stroke for christmas!

Might get down tomorrow, if the thaw's still on could get some caulikng done. It was flipping brassics up there mind

Pumped her oot btw before we left - not a lot in, less afterwards (obviously) AND ...................I fixed something!!! Granted I broke it in the first place

Still can't get the other bilge pump to work and you refuse to tell me the secret, looked in tengine room, bit of water under tgearbox, almost lunched it out but thought feck it, I'm here (See positive attitude ). Smacked me little shoulder on something sharp crawling up tladders to get the rubber gloves on which was great - I felt like you for a wee while. Carefully removed no.1 bilge from it's ole, don't want the bladdy hose to come off now, halfway through the into the next bit move the fella stops dead. Eeek, ran up the ladders - ish thinking, nee bilge pump, I'm halfway to Glasgow with me Mam in the car, the boat is definetly going to die! Flipped the bilge pump switch on the dashboard off and on again (My little heart sank when I saw it was in on mode, thought it might have just tripped or some other simple electronical hoo haa.) Nowt. Turned the big green thing on and off, Nowt. Took a deep breath, thought what would Scott or Shackleton have done in this situation - so I ate a penguin - then instead of skulking back along the pontoon with my hands in pockets, whistling tunelessly - I went back down!

2 deep breaths (and a 5 minute coughing fit) later I slowly scanned the whole environment looking for any type of clue, after half an hour I decided to concentrate my energy on the bilge pump, as that was what had broken. It was silent so the first thing I looked for was the volume control - it was that minging I was reluctant to check for an on off switch. Thought right, cables ya radge, saw the first 2 junction things which are all encrusted with matter and kinda squeezed them a bit, nowt.

Shouted out really loud just to check I hadn't gone deaf and it had actually started working, heard myself so I was dead chuffed not to be deaf, great feeling - I've taken to closing my eyes for a bit then opening them only to find I'm not blind - brilliant, got it down to a fine art and have called it "blinking" will it catch on?

I did a standard cable checkback list troubleshoot which involved some strenous following or "tracking" the cable's alignment with the Mk1 Human Eyeball. Saw an area where something didn't just quite sit right, took me right back to Nam It was a bit of cable with two bits of metal string coming out (like veins, bit scary really, blue and red they was) joined to another bit of cable just the sham. ONLY ................ one of the veins was not attached to it's other vein end - therefore disrupting the flow of fluxity to the pump. I leapt at the thing and grabbed the bits and stuck them together - a git big spark event occured, the pump went off in my hand and I would have fallen over backwards if there was room (Farted with shock instead)

Yeah - fixed the *******. Might get back on the VSO Radio course thing, on a roll.

Whilst mooching around the internet to stave off the christmas boredom, came across this little gem. A lovely old wooden ringer (ring netter) being built. From the drawing board to launch.

Superb bit of film. The caulking bit of the video was a treat. Kinda get the idea these guys might have done that before a bit! The fact they are building a wooden boat with virtually no power tools as well is a skill that is pretty much lost today as well

probably the best wooden boat building video I've come across. The music's seen better days though, the commentary is the poem “The Building of the Ship” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ( he of "I shot an arrow into the air...." fame)

*What's gannin on here like*

It only took them 18 minutes!

Great video.

a couple more oldies. First the original Pansy, now lying at the bottom of loch ness:

Built for an owned by the same family as original owned our pansy. A big Zulu under full sail

and another whitehills one, Pansy lying inside lupin in the middle... There may be a lot more to say about Lupin in the coming months

Sometime in the 60's at a guess, Pansy against the wall and another Fifie, Lupin along side. Lupin is currently lying in an industrial estate in lancaster, in very good shape, although bare bones hull and engine, and for sale at a very very low price......

Pansy lying against the wall outside whitehills in the exact same spot we tied up on the trip back to the tyne

and finally, a wee PDF, that might be of interest, history of the Zulu, Fifie, scaffie and the moray firth herring fishery in general

The Zulu Herring Drifter

Will that help the Google rankings Skippar?

Had the great pleasure of busting a few moves on the new deck today! We decided to take a chance and roll back the the tarp for the first time in yonkys to let the new floor breathe for a while, what a wonderful expanse of lovingly laid wood. You could land a chopper on it! I may have embarrased myself by testing (stroke) celebrating it's expansiveness with a wee Peter Crouch / MC Hammer / David Brent medley of dance classics .

Skip has a lovely new pair of multi-purpose boots as well, he's already tested the upper ankle support by stepping of a ledge into the bilge, can't wait to see how they hold up to: Cheeky Nails, Fire, Electric Shock, Chemical Spillage, Circular Saw Abuse, Floods, Famine and "That stuff what is on the deck". I'll post a picture of a comedy shoe when I can suss out how do it again, daresent ask No.1 as he's probably still working out how to undo the revolutionary lacing system on his fantastic boots.

/** strictly come dancing... **/

what no brucie bonus??

thems is special forces boots them is, top secret, nuclear powered, on full auto they can snap a badgers neck from 630 yards and out run an otter on a moped

Lidl's £9.99

Big lumps of wood are great. Elm in this case. Brilliant stuff, won't rot under water, won't rot above water. might rot in between the 2 after many years if not looked after. So why not take a leaf out of the Airfix book and make some spare parts out of the stuff. I guess, with enough planks you could make a full kit form Pansy. Press the parts out and assemble. Only problem i can see with this plan is finding a big enough box to put the bits in.

new rudder, rubbing strake, beams for the coachroof and a few knees! I used to love Airfix models when I was a bairn!

Mind you drawing the pictures is the easy bit, cutting the buggers out will take months probably. This Elm is well seasoned and as hard as iron. so probably won't even happen!

Gonna get coverboards on t'other side done the morra, get the girl turned around to make it easier to do the replanking and rubbing strake. She might even get rid of the natty blue tarps for the first time in months

no hang on thats the wrong way round, you get the idea though. Got down there bright and early. Operation cover boards underway. A couple of pieces of oak I had been coveting and had squirreled away for the purpose where whipped out of their damp dingy hole (that'll be anywhere inside the boat then) planed up to the right sort of width & thickness and chopped up to suit the holes as I went along. Had to get radical with angle grinder and sledgehammer first though in order to remove the Land of The Giants size mooring cleat. The neighbours must have been pleased listening to that as they ate their Frosties this morning

The cover boards have come out alright as it happens, done all down one side, right up to the pointy bit at the front... where in a fit of pique I decided to start attacking another major grot spot - top shear plank and rubbing strake. Achieved using the hanging over the side of the boat upside down with a mash hammer and chisel technique... got the nasty bits off though, so next mission is going to be the replanking and rubbing strake. I've got no larch for the planks though so might have to go hunting for some. Had a major find at the weekend though for the rubbbing strake. Rarer than a rare thing in this day and age. Some seasoned English Rock Elm. So now spoilt for choice for the rubbing strake & beltings Oak or Elm?

Gonna go back and get a bit more of the Elm though as I realised today, some of the planks that I was offered were perfect for a new rudder. 24" wide, 3" thick and 14' long should do the job nicely.

So, operation cover boards mission accomplished, well half accomplished any hoo....

Bit fiddle shaping the zillion angles involved but they're in, caulked with masses of cotton and the seams sealed

looks canny though. Just needs a string bending to fit and then the Comedy sized Cleat refitting.

One good thing about removing the big cleats though, which were fastened through the frames with huge bolts and big steel pads.... It means that the name boards can go on. She can have her name back for the first time in years.

Sorting through some old pics to try summon up the will to keep going, loads I haven't posted so thought I'd lash a few up, got one from every decade almost apart from the 70's and 80's. Must be some somewhere I reckon. Interesting to see the changes

not sure the age of this one, guess late 30's maybe 40's, can't even remember where I found it or who sent it!, Wheelhouse Mk1 maybe? Sorta fits as the original paraffin engine was replaced with the K3, which would have probably meant shifting the wheelhouse so maybe thats when Mk2 wheelhouse arrived

up on the stocks, sporting wheelhouse mkII

May 1962, lying in Aberdeen, nets drying. Wheelhouse mk2 still

Another courtesy of Billy Milne, Lying Whitehills, one of my favourite pics, managed to carve new name boards based on this pic,not sure of the date, late 50's maybe? maybe 60's? Nice example of a beccles coiler on deck for all you trawler model makers out there!

big jump forward to the early 90's. I've yet to find any pics from the 70's or 80's, but this time she's in Grimsby sporting wheelhouse MkIII. I quite like the green and white

Couple of years later, lying in Seahouses. Out with the green and in with the red!

1999 on a visit back to her old home in whitehills

Last 3 pics courtesy of dave-d at Trawler pictures

Had a new, and hitherto reluctant helper today, I believe the correct term may be 'boat widow'. Think she may just be pitying me or trying to humour me a bit though.

Time to get the seams caulked and the last few lengths of deck plank laid. The planky bit was easy, kinda got my eye in now, although, there'es still one short nibbing piece about a foot long thats still not nailed down - ran out of sikaflex!

So after giving my nearest and dearest a quick crash course and handing her an 'ammer, a ball of cotton and the caulking irons left her to it while I cleared the decks and started oiling. Home brewed 'boat soup' being the concoction going down, linseed oil, thinned right down with naptha to let it get deep into the wood, and a very large dollop of Stockholm Tar which had been heated sufficiently to make look a bit less like a tin of Tate & Lyle Black treacle on a very cold day

Said mixture mixed up thoroughly and thrown about the place, got a good 9 or 10 coats on half of the deck, so they're colouring up nicely. just another 40 or 50 coats to go maybe, reducing the thinners gradually till its just raw oil and the wood can't take any more

Determined to lash enough of the stuff down to keep the rot and nasties at bay for a very very long time!

Over on the other side the fair hands of TK got to work on the cotton & caulking combo

She's a brilliant knitter at home, so obviously its a natural progression. Least thats what I told her anyway. Twist the caulking cotton nice and tight, feed it in and then harden it up with the caulking irons - simples!

tappety tap tap! If she didn't hate me and the boat before, after being bent over caulking the deck all day she probably does now. I will report back next time she speaks to me

Long way to go on the caulking from yet though, but already the seams are tighter than Peter Mandellson's arse on national 'insert a pineapple in your favourite politician' day

Once caulked up, there'll just be the seams to pay (cash or cheque??) and that'll be that.

Its nice when you get emails that don't insinuate your either fat, depressed, have inherited 12 trillion dollars in nigeria or have a small penis with offers to cure all and make you rich. Had a nice email today from one of Pansy's former keepers, keeper as opposed to owner perhaps as old boats definitely have a life of their own and are usually their own masters, but any hoo, john had Pansy for a few years before us and was probably the man most responsible from saving her from certain death as a sunken wreck in scottish harbour. He had her hauled out spent oodles of cash on having the important bits put right in order to re-establish the general floaty type principals of boats.

So I got to see a few pictures I'd not seen before of her as she was when he got hold of her, and looking a bit rough around the edges.

Waiting for some TLC. Apparently I've read she was used as 'party boat' in Grimsby, not sure what that means though. I went to a Party in Grimsby once. Least said the better

up on the stocks looking tired

One photograph made me smile quite a bit though. As a general rule water coming out of a boat on dry land is a good indication something in the 'not good' category. The leaking seam here is curiously in the same sort of location than out recent leaking seam adventure

definitely what you would class as below the waterline!

It was at this point the shiny new engine went in, and at this point when she looked nearly as bad as the state we've got her in now

New engine beds going in. Would love to know where the old kelvin engine ended up (if anyone knows get in touch)

Will stick some more up at some point, but overall, nice to have a bit of continuity, the missing bits from the history I have are pretty much the 70's and 80's. Would be particularly keen to find out went went on in Grimsby!

Monkeys *Ahem*

Another winter comes stuttering and staggering our way, not sure weather it's made it's mind up yet on this global warming affair. My born again enthusiasm and general - do a bit more fellah - attitude took a knock recently. It's getting dark early and I thought to myself - shucks can't do nowt during the week until there's at least enough light to see cricket ball travelling at 100 mph (That's about a frazillion kph for our continental brothers and sisters) Good excuse - don't tell Rear Admiral Hardy though. (Can the Skipper see all this?)

Then I remembered last year

Worked all through that pesky old season, it was quite pleasant actually - nice and toasty in the engine room with the heat from the lights and a strange electric heater (with a safety tilt switch which would only make the heater come on when it was facing the opposite way from where you were, or if you put it on your head pointing upwards!)

Inside little Pansy's tummy it was cold ................Until the raging beast was unleashed - MachineMart "Boat Burning" stove, woof - the sweat it just run off me neck I do believe we have waxed lyrical about Old Vesuvius before, did I ever tell you about the time ...........

Expect a flood of reports now I have realised I can work after work - I may even do things.

/*** AHEM! ***/

just thought it might be worth mentioning before a rush of enthusiasm causes number 2 to swoon gracefully, but all seating facilities have been removed, thus removing sitting down and thinking type opportunities and all flat spaces have been buried under 'stuff' or have nails pointing out of them thus removing lying down and thinking opportunities, which only leaves polythene pauline, pansy's plastic pal as a source of comfort and she has got a puncture

/***HAWAY! ***/

I pride myself on being able to find a kip, anywhere, anytime - the whale like interior of Panser allows a man to stand up whilst curving towards the ground. that's a kin to a kip! There are small areas of "floor board" left - kip! I shifted a bit of stuff around in the wheelhouse recently and found some "Space" kip! The day I can't find somewhere to have a kip, I'll have a kip and find somewhere else. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Ouch what was that

Its painfully slow and bit like being at a test match. The covers are on, the covers are off then the covers are on again and finally bad light stops play. Pretty much finished down the one side at least. Bit off jiggery pokery with the deck planks needed though. Some of the rotten deck planks that were ripped up were iffy repairs from times past, and in places a few timbers at once had been replaced with a variety of planks of different widths to fill the gap. The new deck planks were laid nice and neatly from the centreline outwards, which was all going a bit like my tools (swimingly!), till I got to the bit where the butts had to staggered with the remaining deck planks - there was a gap!

So had to work a plank up a bit wider than the rest to get everything lined up again, well did 2, so I can put one in on the other side so it looks looks nice and symmetrical and anyone looking at it will think its a design feature! T'other side to finish off, cover boards to make and then caulk and seal

Just need a few dry days now.... in november?? in the UK?? as much chance of that happening as there is of Gordon Brown dropping his glass eye in Peter Mandelson's coffee for a laugh! Politician of the year FFS!! Mandy will be Jockey of the year next year for rogering tony blair all the way to the EU presidency no doubt

So plenty water in the bilges via the dodgy deck for the foreseeable future then!

Checked on the Tote and they've stopped taking bets on her being sank by christmas.

getting there slowly, bit of hammery stuff to do with the caulking cotton and caulking irons, pay the seams with some goo and jobs a good un

It may have been noticed that No 2 has mentioned fire a few times when he's poked his head in here. Keeps mentioning something about 'the little people' telling him to burn things as well.

Had a toddle down there to day to discover him in full pyromanical flow. Safety goggles, kneed pads, overalls, safety gloves... I got 'im sussed out now though - if you dress vaguely like a workman people might think you are actually doing something! Although I had to decline his request for a full face safety visor - he was worried his visog might suffer a temporary aberration by 'stuff' landing on it

but doing summats he was, a new technique by all accounts for removing the remaining 'tarmac' from the deck - set fire to the boat. wait till its burning nicely, then scrape the pile of fire somewhere else..... can you get piles of fire?? (thats not a medical question btw)

the idea being the little bonfire has softened the asphalt enough to render it vulnerable to scraping type things

Known for his health and safety concerns, No 2 demonstrates his love of all things firey

the eagle eyed among you may spot something that is generally accepted to be in the 'bad thing' category when talking of wooden boats... yes we're growing our own 'shrooms on the coach roof. Well someone had to, and I bet no-one else has thought of it either